Speak Up
Regardless of their level of seniority in an organization, all leaders need to manage up to someone who holds some degree of authority or influence over them. Sometimes this might be their direct manager, or another senior leader, the CEO, the board, investors, or even high-paying clients. And regardless of their level of seniority, most leaders consider managing up the hardest part of their job.
Whenever we find ourselves in a dynamic where we view ourselves as the lesser or smaller party, our inner voice goes on red alert and screams at us to stay safe. We fear for our jobs, and our sense of security is threatened. We try to avoid conflict, and don’t express our needs. But these actions reinforce the power dynamic that we dread.
To shift this dynamic requires three things:
Choice. Most of the time, we listen to our inner voice by default, assuming that it speaks the truth. But the fact is, unless we are actually in grave physical danger, our inner voice is usually overreacting. Recognizing that listening to our inner voice is one of multiple choices is the first step to shifting a dreaded dynamic.
Curiosity. In the presence of a stronger or more powerful voice, our tendency is to assume that their way is the only way. But bringing curiosity to understand their perspective does two things: first, it opens our minds to actually empathize with their perspective, and so we feel less threatened by it. And second, it actually helps the other person feel heard, which de-intensifies their emotions, such that they actually loosen their grip and are more open to negotiation.
Clarity. Because we’ve approached the dynamic from curiosity, we’ve already shifted the dynamic to one that feels safer. From this place, it’s a lot easier to state our own needs with clarity, without discounting the other perspective. It’s critical that we enter the conversation knowing what we want to get out of it, and stay committed to giving it our best shot.
In the end, even managing up is just a conversation between two people.
